Cheater’s and Second Chances

Ch eaters and second chances

Should a Cheater be Granted a Second Chance?

 *This article is not to indoctrinate, convince or intimidate anyone, but only the opinion of the writer.

Cheating is a distressing crime of the heart and is treated as such by the victim. In a situation like this the victim is feeling overwhelmed, emotionally distraught and most times unforgiving. Their trust has been violated and many times they have been blindsided with the cheating. It is understandable that at this point forgiveness or second chances are not in the picture; there are only questions.   

It is healthy to have questions and have them answered so, one can move on to the forgiving process. But, when the anger and pain are fresh that might not be easy. It is wise to take a breather and don’t rush to make any decision. If decisions are made in anger, there is likely going to be regret when temper cools.

Who Is Responsible

Remember, there are three parties that are involved in this equation, the third party is of no importance. The victim is the one that will have the most questions.  Some of these questions should be like:

  ^ Why would they cheat when they know how devastating and hurtful it would be to you?

^ NO EXCUSES. Take responsibility for your actions?

^Why would they destroy the trust you had for them?

^What are their plans to ensure that a situation like cheating never occurs again?

Writing this article, I know that these questions are easier said than done when anger and disappointment are at the forefront of your thoughts.

The healing processes

cheaters and second chances

Forgiveness is the only path for emotional healing. It can be depressing walking around feeling angry and discouraged at the cheater. It is necessary to impart forgiveness in order to move on to the next phase of healing. This is not a guarantee that the parties will remain romantically involved however, it is a move in a positive direction.

To save a relationship and grant a second chance the cheating partner must want the relationship to work.  By this time the cheater should know why the cheating happened.

It is not only the victim that will be determined if the relationship is a holdup. Cheating is a big test for both people. Cheating will:

In my humble opinion, it will strengthen a relationship if it can be saved.

Should a cheater be granted a second chance is a question that can only be answered by both parties involved.

Making the decision

When both sides have spoken, and everything is out in the open, then it’s time for action. Conversing or quarreling is not going to fix the relationship. It may give you a better idea of where the other person is coming from. Thus, the need action. It is important to do things that will improve a situation whether, it is compromising, being more respectful, being more open to intimacy, putting away the need for control, or being truthful. Whatever the relationship requires for healing should be performed.

They may come to the agreement that it is not worth saving, the pain is deep and lingering. No longer is the question should a cheater be granted a second chance, but how is this split going to be amicable or just be a total disaster. That is why it’s best to let things cool before deciding. Before leaving the relationship take a cooling period and how to acclimatize you become to separation and do you want to do the single lifestyle.

Take some time to contemplate ‘leaving or working on the relationship. It will be challenging work and are you ready for it? Will you be willing to put in the time and effort to make it work?

It’s All About Sex

sex and menopause with women
Sex and menopause

It’s All About Sex…

The Menopause Conundrum

And so, the mystery is, having great sex once menopause begins could be a hit or miss for many women. It may be diminished libido, dryness down-under or simply she’s tired, which are all acceptable situations. The menopause conundrum is like doing a puzzle and the dots are not connecting and you’re wondering why? Well, it is as simple as your body is in a tipsy turvy turmoil and you need to find ways of calming it or getting it back on track.

What is menopause

Most of us know what menopause is and for those that do not, it is when the ovaries are tired and decide they are overproducing eggs and go into retirement. Then the periods stop and most time the body gets confused and starts acting up. Before the body actually transitions into menopause there is a period of time where it goes through the stage like that of a child having a tantrum. Menstruation and normal monthly cycle get disrupted and become irregular; this is perimenopause.

During this perimenopausal period, some women go through ups and downs of hormonal turmoil. There may be mood changes, which can be anxiety, depression, and irritability. These mood shifts can affect those around the person experiencing perimenopause.

How is your vagina behaving?

For some women, experiencing vaginal or sexual issues is as serious as a heart attack. Sex is a very important part of relationships and when that is disrupted folks want and answers and solutions. These specific changes in the body occur when estrogen level takes a nosedive during the perimenopausal stage. This happens over time and causes various degrees of change.

Sex drive
sex drive

One change that is evident is the changes that occur in the vagina. The canal may get smaller and the vagina wall becomes thinner, which can cause discomfort and infection. The cervix will become smaller and the mucus membrane throughout the vagina, secretion diminishes. Without the intervention of some sort, sex can be uncomfortable for both parties.

Where did the sex drive go?

Diminished sex drive in some women can put a crimp on an otherwise good relationship however, there are women that experience an increase in libido. These women are the fortunate few. Some other causes in low sex drive may be a reduction of the hormone production estrogen and testosterone; these are the sex hormones.

Another cause could be stress, which can impede sexual desire by increasing moodiness and emotional irritation.

Self-esteem issues can occur when a menopausal woman gains weight and becomes self-conscious about her body.

Let’s Fix Things

When the menopausal body is being chaotic, then it is necessary to calm things down and get them back in the right state of mind. There are various remedies that can lessen the intensity or eliminate the effect of peri or menopause altogether.

The pelvic floor exercise is one way of tightening the pelvic floor which in turn, makes the sexual experience more enjoyable. It is also known to improve incontinence and reduce pelvic organ prolapse. These exercises are safe, easy, can be done anywhere, and takes roughly five minutes.

**I will not be including replacement hormone therapy as I believe there are better ways of dealing with decreased hormones.

***If all else fails, then getting a young tender-Roni to stroke the fire might revive the engine.

Herbs for Increased Libido

Maca root

Horny Goat Weed

Jamaican Sarsparilla

Astragulus

Supplements that help balance hormone

Vitamin E

Vitamin C

Zinc

Magnesium

Omega 3 fatty acid

With the hormones being balanced, the sex drive will increase, and you’ll be back to riding the stars.