*This article is not to indoctrinate, convince or intimidate anyone, but only the opinion of the writer.
When cheating occurs
Cheating is a rather distressing crime of the heart and is usually treated as such by the victim. In a situation like this the victim is feeling overwhelmed, emotionally distraught and most times unforgiving. Their trust has been violated and many times they have been blindside with the cheating. It is understandable that at this point forgiveness or second chances are not in the picture; there are only questions. They begin to ask them self, ‘what went wrong. Was it lack of communication, unsatisfied sex life, financial issues…what could it be’.
It is healthy to have questions and have them answered so, one can move on to the forgiving process. But, when the anger and pain are fresh that might not be easy. It is wise to take a breather and don’t rush to make any decision. If decisions are made in anger, there is likely going to be regret when temper cools.
Remember, there are three parties that are involved in this equation, the third party is of no importance. The victim is the one that will have the most questions. Some of these questions should be like:
^ Why would they cheat when they know how devastating and hurtful it would be to you?
^ NO EXCUSES. Take responsibility for your actions?
^Why would they destroy the trust you had for them?
^What are their plans to ensure that a situation like cheating never occurs again?
Writing this article, I know that these questions are easier said than done when anger and disappointment are at the forefront of your thoughts.
The healing process
Forgiveness is the only path for emotional healing. It can be depressing walking around feeling angry and discouraged at the cheater. It is necessary to impart forgiveness in order to move on to the next phase of healing. This is not a guarantee that the parties will remain romantically involved however, it is a move in a positive direction.
Second chance or not
To save a relationship and grant a second chance the cheating partner must want the relationship to work. By this time the cheater should know why the cheating happened.
It is not only the victim that will be determined if the relationship holdup. Cheating is a big test for both people. Cheating will:
In my humble opinion, it will strengthen a relationship if it can be saved.
Should a cheater be granted a second chance is a question that can only be answered by both parties involved.
Making the decision
When both sides have spoken, and everything is out in the open, then it’s time for action. Conversing or quarreling is not going to fix the relationship. However, It may give you a better idea of where the other person is coming from. Thus, the need action. It is important to do things that will improve a situation whether, it is compromising, being more respectful, being more open to intimacy, put away the need for control or being truthful. Whatever the relationship requires for healing should be performed and a second chance is considered.
They may come to the agreement that it is not worth saving, the pain is deep and lingering. So, no longer is the question should a cheater be granted a second chance, but how is this split going to be amicable or just be a total disaster. Therefore, it’s best to let things cool before deciding. Before leaving the relationship take a cooling period and how to acclimatize you become to separation and do you want to do a single lifestyle.
Take some time to contemplate ‘leaving or working on the relationship. It will be challenging work and are you ready for it? And so, are you willing to put in the time and effort to make it work and giving it another chance?